Tuesday, August 26, 2008

It Depends on How You Define "Taste"

Are you in need of a good laugh? Go visit a friend or family member in the near future and search through their music collection. Amongst the standard issue copy of Dark Side of the Moon that every American either buys or inherits at some time or another, you are sure to find a rather dubious album or two tucked away in the pack. Dust off its cover and you'll likely discover a rare copy of a Milli Vanilli album or a 90210 soundtrack CD. And you'll point at the guilty party and laugh heartily. You'll mock them and they will run and hide in a cold, dark place in shame.

But if you want a really good laugh, try looking at your own collection of music. It's true. We all have purchased and album or two along the way that--if we ever chose to run for President--would be just the breaking news story to foil our presidential bids. (You can bet that Obama and McCain have long since burned their copies of the Rick Astley CD long before they hit the campaign trail.)

But since I have no intention to run for President and I've never been accused of having any discernible taste, I will show my hand of my top five most embarrassing album purchases:

5. Train - Drops of Jupiter
I bought it because the first single sounded like the Black Crows. I realized soon after that the remaining tracks sounded like dog feces. I was mocked by friends for weeks for owning such an Oprah club, Lite FM staple of a CD until I ultimately converted the CD to a dandy coaster.

4. Brady Bunch - It's a Sunshine Day
I don't recall every buying this CD, but it's in my collection. And, yes, I have sung along to "Time to Change" in a faux prepubescent cracking voice. And yes, I am ashamed.

3. Ghetto Boys - We Can't Be Stopped
This rap group's gimmick was a suicidal midget. How could I have missed that GIANT RED FLAG!

2. The Beatles Anthologies #2 & #3
I left out the Beatles Anthology #1 because it was the first anthology I got and the atrocious sound quality of newly "discovered" b-sides and rarities should have kept me miles away from the subsequent anthologies. But I guess I thought that it was okay to listen to the fab four sound like they're singing in a distant tunnel with a vacuum player running during a thunderstorm...and pay $50 per anthology for the privilege.

1. Avril Lavigne - Let Go
This purchase wouldn't be so bad...if I were a 13 year-old angst-filled girl with a tendency to shop at Hot Topix. But given I'm a grown adult male (don't laugh), there is no excuse except for perhaps a momentary lapse of reason.

Don't be shy. Consider this your first BMLA meeting (Bad Music Lovers Anonymous) and share an album or two that you are embarrassed to have bought. We can build this thing together, stand up for eachother, nothing's gonna stop us now.


Anonymous said...

Ummm, I didn't know you bought an Avril Lavigne cd. This changes everything.
By the way, where are you hiding that little gem?

PoopsMcgee said...

Hey, I bought Drops of Jupiter, I did not think the albumn was that bad.

I would have to say the one albumn I bought that I am ashamed of is new kids on the block in grade school. I thought if I bought it, I could get chicks. I listed to that crap and destroyed it weeks later after I was mocked.