Ranting against reality television is nothing new, so I'll spare you of the same old stuff you have heard a countless amount of times about how reality TV is scripted, casts narcissists exclusively and constantly pushes the limits of taste and morality.
But there is one aspect about reality TV worth ranting about that you may not have heard. For instance, last night, Dancing with the Stars premiered, featuring it's usual cast of typecasts (washed up sitcom star, retired NFL athlete, person famous but not for having any talent, old person who will likely break a hip, comic relief person and person who you have no idea why they're famous but they kind of look familiar).
I wonder, is there any real reason to find out who is the best dancer amongst this crowd? Why not instead reunite the cast of Cheers and see who is the best at bass fishing? Or gather the actors from the Facts of Life to compete in a rock-paper-scissors tournament? Point being, will it matter if one of the Golden Girls beats out a retired linebacker in a tango face off?
To me, reality television is only good if there is some sort of interesting outcome as a result of the show. American Idol gives its winner a record deal. The show lets you watch a career being launched. Top Chef gives talented chefs a head start to opening their own restaurant. Extreme Home Makeover gives a deserving family a better quality of living. Are all three of those shows great shows? No. But they aren't completely devoid of quality. You can watch them and have a rooting interest.
The shows that don't offer much of an outcome are the ones that really suck. For instance, any show featuring somebody picking a stranger to marry. Or shows that feature people backstabbing other people on their way to a prize. Shows that feature Donald Trump in any capacity. And the worst of them, shows that feature people sitting around in a house doing nothing. In the case of Dancing with the Stars, it's not like Emmitt Smith had a career in dancing launched and went on to star on Broadway. He went back to his normal life of being an NFL legend. So what was the point?
I guess there isn't meant to be a point. Cotton candy wouldn't exist if everything had to have a purpose. That's why they call it fluff. And, in case you wondered, I would put my money on Norm to take in the most bass.