Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Top Five Reasons Why I'm Sick of the Presidential Campaign

Number 5: Fashion over function.
I have been unwillingly informed several times of how I can too own the same pair of glasses worn by Sarah Palin. Or where I can buy the dress Michelle Obama wore on the View. You know, the important issues of the campaign.

Number 4: Overexposure to horrible campaign-selected music. The songs selected by these candidates are likely the same tunes used by the government to torture those at Guantanamo Bay. ABBA? Seriously! ABBA!

Number 3: Too much family drama.
Last time I checked, when one interviews for a job, he/she doesn't bring their spouse and kids to smile at the employer and later complain about how family shouldn't be factored into the hiring process.

Number 2: Unabashed and faulty justification overload! Example:
Interviewer: You said that your candidate is a complete idiot and frequently kicks puppies.
Candidate: But my opponent has said that I am insane and like to punch senior citizen war vets.
Interviewer: But you did say he is an idiot.
Candidate: But HE STARTED IT!
Interviewer: Go to your room!
Candidate: No FAIR!

Number 1: Change, Change, Everywhere with the Changing!
Both sides preach how they will change this, change that and change the other. I think both candidates misheard the voters. We were asking for change that we can deposit into our bank accounts...quarters, nickels, dimes, whatever...we stopped asking for dollars because we know those are all reserved for large greedy corporations who need bail outs.

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